Help: momma

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Yo momma's so poor, she goes to KFC and licks other people's fingers!
Yo momma's so stupid, she tripped over her cordless phone!
Yo momma's so stupid, she gave your uncle a blowjob to help his unemployment!
Yo momma's so fat, I saw the back of her neck and thought I was in a library!
Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into Taco Bell everyone runs for the border!
Yo momma's so fat she's protected by Green Peace!
Yo momma's so fat she uses a VCR for a pager!
Yo momma's so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice!
Yo momma's like a doorknob: everyone gets a turn
I saw your momma kicking a can down the street.  I asked her what she was
doin and she said 'movin!'
Yo momma's so stupid she sold her car for gas money!
Yo momma's so fat her nickname is DAMN!!
Yo momma's so ugly, animals at the zoo feed her!
Yo momma's so stupid, she went around telling all her friends that her
husband was important when he couldn't get it up
YO MAMA is so fat that when she went to the beach, Greenpeace tried to drag
her fat ass back into the ocean.
Yo mama's ass is so fat that when she backs up, it makes BEEP BEEP noises!
Yo mama is so fat she has to wear two watches 'cause she's in two :
different time zones.
I would have been your father but the damn dog beat me over the fence!
Yo momma so fat her nickname is "DAMN"
Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to _everyone_.
Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...
Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for the
new world
Yo momma so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo momma so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions!
Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell "Taxi!"
Yo momma so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo momma so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Yo momma so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.
Yo momma so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.
Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code!
Yo momma so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo momma so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo momma so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!
Yo momma so fat you have to roll her ass in flour and look for the wet spot
to fuck her!
Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the
bitches good side!
Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family!
Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips!
Yo momma so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo momma so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get
up again.
Yo momma so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo momma so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo momma so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo momma so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the
other side just to get her through.
Yo momma so fat when the bitch goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have
to install speed bumps.
Yo momma so fat sets off car alarms when she walks.
Yo momma so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist
they spelled out boulevard.
Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"
Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green
arrow!
Yo momma so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her
farts!!!
Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we
dressed her as a Chevrolet.
Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 sign, she went home and got 16
friends
Yo momma so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she got a spoon!
Yo momma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Yo momma so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order!
Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo momma so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo momma so stupid she asked you "What is the number for 911"
Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below
the dotted line she put "O.K."
Yo momma so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo momma so stupid she stole free bread.
Yo momma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Yo momma so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo momma so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Yo momma so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F
and sometimes Wednesday too."
Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo momma so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo momma so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job apllication, she put
"Huked on Fonics."
Yo momma so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
Yo momma so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was
trying to makeup her mind.
Yo momma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes.
Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no
professionals."
Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.
Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!"
and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."
Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.
Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower
Yo momma so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star
Wars.
Yo momma so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they
put it around her neck
Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
Yo momma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence
cameras
Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her
Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say
"Damn, is it Halloween already?"
Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
Yo momma so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.
Yo momma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.
Yo momma so ugly she made an onion cry.
Yo momma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours...
for a quote!
Yo momma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!
Yo momma so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!
Yo momma so ugly The NHL banned her for life
Yo momma so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to
bury her.
Yo momma so ugly she scares the roaches away.
Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he
doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and the bitch died.
Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number!
Yo momma so old her social security number is 1!
Yo momma so old that when God said let there be light, she hit the switch'
Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook!
Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo momma so old she owes Jesus a nickel.
Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo momma so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade.
Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her
what she was doing, she said "Moving."
Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention!
Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!
Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's
fingers!!!
Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"
Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a cheeseburger on layaway.
Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.
Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags.  I said, "What
ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."
Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air
conditioning.
Yo momma so short she poses for trophies!
Yo momma so short you can see her feet on her drivers lisence!
Yo momma so short she has to use a ladder to pick up a dime.
Yo momma so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut
her hair and she opened up her shirt.
Yo momma so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh!
Yo momma so nasty she made speed stick slow down.
Yo momma so nasty she brings her own crabs to the beach
Yo momma so nasty she made right guard turn left.
Yo momma so nasty she has to creep up on bathwater.
Yo momma so nasty that her shit is glad to escape.
Yo momma so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.
Yo momma so hairy you almost died of rugburn at birth!
Yo momma so hairy she's got afros on her nipples!
Yo momma so hairy she look like she got Buckwheat in a headlock.
Yo momma so hairy Bigfoot takes her picture!
Yo momma so slutty she could suck-start a Harley!
Yo momma so slutty she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch ball!
Yo momma so slutty when she got a new mini skirt, everyone commented on her
nice belt!
Yo momma so slutty she was on the cover of wheaties, with her legs open, and
it said "breakfast of the champs."
Yo momma so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line
behind me had the correct change.
Yo momma so slutty she had her own "Hands across her ass" charity drive
Yo momma so slutty that when she heard Santa Claus say HO HO HO she thought
she was getting it three times.
Yo momma so slutty she blind and seeing another man.
Yo momma so greasy she used bacon as a band-aid!
Yo momma so greasy she sweats Crisco!
Yo momma so greasy Texaco buys Oil from her
Yo momma teeth are so yellow traffic slows down when she smiles!
Yo momma teeth are so yellow she spits butter!
Yo momma so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex.
Yo momma so bald you can see whats on her mind
Yo momma so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed.
Yo momma so flat she's jealous of the wall!
Yo momma's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see
people waving.
Yo momma's glasses are so thick she can see into the future.
Yo momma got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tounge is in jail.
Yo momma so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two
jobs.
Yo momma wears knee-pads and yells "Curb Service!"
Yo momma feet are so big her shoes have to have license plates!
Yo momma aint so bad...she would give you the hair off of her back!
Yo momma lips so big, Chap Stick had to invent a spray.
It took yo momma 10 tries to get her drivers license, she couldnt get used
to the front seat!
You were born out of your mother's ass 'cos her cunt was too busy.
Yo momma so wrinkled, she can to screw her hat on.
Yo momma twice the man you are.
Yo momma cross-eyed and watches TV in stereo.
Yo momma is missing a finger and can't count past 9.
If my dog had a face as ugly as your momma's, I'd shave his ass and make him
walk backwards.
Yo momma mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound.
Yo momma breath smell so bad when she yawns her teeth duck.
Yo momma house so small she has to go outside to eat a large pizza.
Yo momma house so small you have to go outside to change your mind.
Yo momma house so dirty roaches ride around on dune buggies!
Yo momma house so dirty she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside.


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