Help: hell

» Help index » Guilds » Races

The following is an actual question given on a University of

Washington chemistry mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the

professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the

pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic

(absorbs heat)?Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using

Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is

compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote thefollowing:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So

we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate

they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul

gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As

for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different

religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions

state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to

Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since

people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that

all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can

expect the number of souls in Hell to increase

exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in

Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and

pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to

expand as souls are added.This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls

enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase

until all Hell breaks loose.

2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase

of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until

Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by one

Ms.Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold

day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact

that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her,

then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic

and will not freeze.

The student received the only "A" given.

«  Back to topics